In this song, Pamela wanted to pass on what she learned over a lifetime of being the little sister.

She mentored some other younger sisters in her adult life, and must have been acutely aware of their needs to develop their own interests and identities, and to individuate from a self-confident older sibling.

As Pam’s big sister, I knew of this challenge in her life, and our mother understood it very well. I had to learn to give her space to find herself, and be supportive without taking over. When she was dying and I had to take over – in everything from life and death decisions to income taxes – it was especially poignant because of our history as the big and little sister.

Self-actualizing as the little sister was a big life lesson for Pam. And she succeeded, as the song proves. I am very proud of her.

She made a personal recording of this song, which I have illustrated with photos of her growing up and as an adult. – HH

Lyrics: All I Want to Be

When I stand by an ant, I am ten feet tall
When I stand by a tree, then I’m very small
In the eyes of Creation I am wholly free
To be all I want to be.

Being me, being free
Choosing how I want to be
In the eyes of Creation
I am wholly free to be all I want to be.

When I look at my sister who is older than me
Then I sometimes feel so small
I would like to do just as she can do
But I just can’t do it all.
So I take a breath, and I let it go
And I breathe in one more time
And I know inside that I’m four, not five
And as my mommy says, I’ll grow.

When I take some time to be all by myself
When my sister’s not around
Then I find some things that I like to do
That are different from what she’s found
And I take a breath, and I let it go
And I smile here just for me
And I know I have ideas that are mine to grow
And I’m happy and feeling free.

Being me, being free
Choosing how I want to be
In the eyes of Creation
I am wholly free to be all I want to be.

Audio only: