At the funeral for her father, Flemming Holm, on October 17, 2009, in Mahone Bay, Nova Scotia, Pamela sang one of his favourite pieces of music, “He Shall Feed His Flock” from Handel’s Messiah, accompanied by Bev Shaw, violin, and Josephine Skinner, organ.

Before singing the above piece, Pam spoke about her father’s love of music, and how it helped shape her own:

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One of the most popular Hindu mantras, dedicated to Vishnu as Lord Krishna. (As I understand it, Krishna is considered an incarnation of Vishnu, one of the principal Hindu deities. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna reveals his divine form to Arjuna as this assemblage of manifestations of Vishnu.)

Pam’s original tune for it is quite lovely. Here she is singing it with a small group in a sound healing workshop in 2011.

Photo: Avatars of Vishnu by Flickr user https://www.flickr.com/photos/jurvetson/378256/in/photostream/, thanks also to Wikimedia Commons.

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I found this round in one of Pamela’s notebooks, handwritten with blocked chords as a guide for creating the tune. There’s no evidence that she ever sang it with anyone.

Pamela wrote it in the key of G, but many people will find that too high, so I’ve transposed it down to D. I’ve added the sheet music in the higher key to download, if you prefer.

See the recordings below to help you learn it.

Here is a piano playing the tune (in D), with repeats to help you learn it and sing another part with it:

And here’s all four parts in a round, using different (computer-generated) instruments: piano, guitar, marimba and banjo (in D), so hopefully you can follow one of them and hear how it goes, and sing along:

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My son picked up a camera and made an impromptu video, so at least we have a rough recording.

Mom loved it. It made her cry. It made her dance. It made Dorcas and Mike’s dogs join in with whimpers and howls. Good fun.

Our mother was an avid gardener who enjoyed growing ornamental grasses (photo below). That would be why Pam wrote “Grasses bow down their heads to honour the day.” There’s no reason not to change the words to something that suits the person being honoured!

Video

Sheet music

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With B (crown chakra) crystal singing bowl

With small Tibetan brass singing bowl

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A song to Ganesha, also known as Ganesh or Ganapati, the Hindu god with the elephant head, the remover of obstacles.

The recording is of Pamela teaching her setting of this mantra to a group, date unknown.

Audio

Sheet music

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These chants are in Hebrew-Aramaic, and when I read these to my father [who studied Biblical languages in theological college], he was very interested in what I was doing.

The nature of chants is that they are repeated, over and over again. They are used in ecstatic singing, they are used to lift the vibration. Certainly as I have sung them walking the dog or whatever, at periods when I’m down or confused at times, I have found more peace in singing them.

Bnai Elohim

Bnai Elohim,
Kodoish, kodoish, kodoish,
Bnai Elohim Adonai tsebayoth

I was told it’s actually something to say three times if you feel there are evil spirits following you around, to banish them from the space. Basically, it’s names for God. The translation::

Sons and daughters of Light,
Holy, Holy, Holy, Hosts of the Light.

Eloha Elohim

This next one is “Eloha Elohim”: again, names for God. Then “Allaha” and “Allah” – other names in Arabic for God.

Translation:

Creator of Light in the Highest
I AM That

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Pam made this recording privately on a digital recorder, not as a performance but for her own records. – HH

Video

Lyrics

There is a home within my heart
Where all things end
From whence they start
It knows no bounds
Springs forth through song
At times I’m sure the angels sing along

My soul’s a giant in a pea
Singing a song of love to Thee
It shimmers, glistening with the sun
Encircling life
Embracing goodness in everyone.

My life’s a song
A journey being sung
Awakening lovers,
Pilgrims to the One
At rest time, I hold the perfect pause
A drawing gasp of transcending awe

In rays of sunlight my heart takes flight
An owl’s vision in the dark of night
A portion of the perfect heart
A reflection of the gem we are

Each soul’s a jewel in the crown
A precious lamp on the Oneness tree
To hold a seed of hope
In the dark of night
The Christed presence reaches out in me.

Audio

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Spirit of Life, work your magic in my soul
Bringing your wondrous touch, you ignite
The fire that makes me whole
Spirit of Life reflected in the rising of the Sun
Resurrect your spirit here in the knowing we are all one.

One in the Godhead, one in the heart
One in the peace, that’s where we start
One in the blessing of the sun
One sun that shines on everyone.

Spirit of Life, I feel so full of Grace
Knowing how your radiant form transfigures every face
Spirit of Life reflected in the light of every smile
Opening heart and mind alike to your presence here all the while.

Light of loving, light of truth
Light through the Spirit we’re made new
Light that warms us like the sun
One sun that shines on everyone.

One in the Godhead, one in the heart
One in the peace, that’s where we start
One in the blessing of the sun
One sun that shines on everyone.
One sun that shines on everyone.

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She mentored some other younger sisters in her adult life, and must have been acutely aware of their needs to develop their own interests and identities, and to individuate from a self-confident older sibling.

As Pam’s big sister, I knew of this challenge in her life, and our mother understood it very well. I had to learn to give her space to find herself, and be supportive without taking over. When she was dying and I had to take over – in everything from life and death decisions to income taxes – it was especially poignant because of our history as the big and little sister.

Self-actualizing as the little sister was a big life lesson for Pam. And she succeeded, as the song proves. I am very proud of her.

She made a personal recording of this song, which I have illustrated with photos of her growing up and as an adult. – HH

Lyrics: All I Want to Be

When I stand by an ant, I am ten feet tall
When I stand by a tree, then I’m very small
In the eyes of Creation I am wholly free
To be all I want to be.

Being me, being free
Choosing how I want to be
In the eyes of Creation
I am wholly free to be all I want to be.

When I look at my sister who is older than me
Then I sometimes feel so small
I would like to do just as she can do
But I just can’t do it all.
So I take a breath, and I let it go
And I breathe in one more time
And I know inside that I’m four, not five
And as my mommy says, I’ll grow.

When I take some time to be all by myself
When my sister’s not around
Then I find some things that I like to do
That are different from what she’s found
And I take a breath, and I let it go
And I smile here just for me
And I know I have ideas that are mine to grow
And I’m happy and feeling free.

Being me, being free
Choosing how I want to be
In the eyes of Creation
I am wholly free to be all I want to be.

Audio only:

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