Painted on June 14, 2008.

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We found this large work in Pam’s apartment among assorted painting supplies. Date unknown.

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From 2018 (?)

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A mixed media piece produced at a workshop with Shirley Mancino in 2018 (?).

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I never got to ask Pamela about this painting, so I really don’t know what it represented to her. I see an elegant mother and a magical child, and the hair colours seem right for it to be our mother, June (Holm) Maginley, and Pam.

It’s quite large, 29 x 20″, and full of palette knife texture.

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An energetic self-portrait of the chakras after spiritual awakening, the higher self and lower self/bodymind expansively merging into a whole.

The rainbow colours represent the different chakras. There is a diamond at the centre of each. The streamers could represent rising kundalini energy.

Used by Pam on her business cards for energy healing work.

I have the framed original hanging in my quantum healing hypnosis room. Our sister Carol has also framed a copy. – HH

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Pamela did some experimenting with acrylics on folded and unfolded paper to produce symmetrical paintings. This is the one she put in a frame.

In a note taped on the back she wrote, “2008 / Pamela Holm / shortly after auditions for Wizard of Oz opened”. In that community theatre production in Perth, Pamela played the Wicked Witch of the West and her little dog Winnie stole the show as Toto. (Pam later wrote a poem about their experience, Stage Craft.)

To my best understanding, in this painting format Pam was playing with the idea that we are reflections of higher aspects of ourselves; different levels or dimensions of our greater being. She had names for hers, some of which came from a spiritual path that she pursued (Diane Stein’s Essential Energy Balancing).

Just below the horizon line, is a “liony character”, her Essence Self, and a frog beneath it representing her Etheric Double. In their reflections she saw a “Crone Owl” for the Goddess Self and a figure of Persephone, with whom she could identify in the practice of adeptly diving deep into the subconscious/unconscious and returning. In the bottom corners the figure of Winnie is evident.

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Created in August 2018 while visiting an old friend. The friend recalls, “It is about her identity as a soul, not a role. It is embracing her legacy and dealing with transitions.”

In the collection of cousin Karen.

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We rarely saw each other in those days. She didn’t have much money for travel, and I was holding the fort in Nova Scotia as the meat in the generational sandwich.

That’s when she painted this watercolour. I see it as a visualization of what she wanted to make happen for herself: a cozy place of her own, decorated in her favourite cheerful colours, where she could make music, create art and read books, along with her little dog Winnie who, in the painting, embodies relaxation and comfort.

The Ottawa apartment where she lived for the 5 years before she died came close to this vision. She never did get a real piano, but it was a creative place for her. She had good neighbours and wonderful places to walk Winnie along the nearby Rideau River. Emptying the apartment and dispersing her possessions after she died felt brutal and intensely poignant.

In May 2018, ten years after making the painting above, Pam was taking the Level 2 training in Guided Imagery with Music (GIM). In a GIM session, the client goes on a guided exploration of their subconscious while listening to carefully selected pieces of classical music. Afterwards, they are asked to create a “mandala” drawing (in a circle) to document their experience.

Pam created the image below after being the “client” in a session using music chosen to invoke feelings of “caring”. In this case, Pam evidently explored self-care and also brought in the care of our mother who had died in June 2014. I like how this drawing complements the previous one, showing Pam’s inner expansion in the intervening years.

The text reads:

I like how her envisioned home in the second picture is a broad, open space with lots of windows, surrounded by love. There’s a warm place to relax in the middle of the spaciousness. The upright piano of the earlier painting has become a grand piano. (Our mother loved to play with colours, and encouraged us to develop a fine appreciation of which colours looked good on us or around us. “The Marco Polo table” is a creative writing project that Pam was working on, left unfinished).

This picture suggests to me that Pam had “leveled up” in her sense of herself and in her aspirations.

I hope she is now enjoying her “expanded spirit home” and envisioning something even more grand.

Heather Holm, January 2020

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